It’s been an interesting week of online dating messages. All of them deserve blog posts on their own, but I’ve been too busy to properly string them along to see just how sideshow they really are. It’s a never ending parade of freaks.
Just your typical 57 year old taking selfies in Kamloops motel rooms and sending me messages. So gross. Why would I want to date someone 23 years older than me? I thought about telling him to go date an 80 year old (23 years older than him). Instead I told him to get a life and blocked him.
Just your typical cuddly teddy bear looking for an angel. Although he might be a nice person, the English in his profile was so bad I could hardly understand it. I’ll summarize, he has no hobbies, no social life and really really wants to cuddle someone, anyone. Guaranteed leach, escaping his chubby arms would not be an easy task.
This guy makes a living by collecting scrap metal, so essentially a dumpster diver with the posture of a wet noodle. Lucky for me he’s 650Km away and he’d have to collect scrap for 10 years before he’d get enough money to hop on a greyhound bus to Vancouver.
Now don’t despair for me, there have been some half decent ones as well this week, they just don’t deserve to be blogged about.
September was a crazy busy month for me, there was not a lot of time left over for blogging. I focused my energy on making a bit of extra money to pay off a big bill from my strata.
In the month of September I ate a lot of rice. A lot of rice. A couple of times I forgot that I was supposed to be eating cheaply, and either spent more than I should have or, I ate out. I saved up my receipts for the month, and drumroll…. I spent $500 on food. I went to the states and stocked up on a bunch of food that I haven’t eaten, but I’m counting it anyways, it probably averages out with the food that I had in the house a the start of September. Now here is the most eye opening thing… 85% of my produce was free because it came from my CSA box. If this is me eating on the cheap, what the fuck have I been spending on a normal month????
Number of times I ate out in September? 9 times. Although it includes a gluten free bakery that I visited daily when I was away for work. Eating out accounts for 32% of my food budget. Last weekend I lost my mind and spent about $100 on dinner and drinks downtown, it’s a decision I felt immediately guilty about.
My average food expense per day was $16. If you had asked me at the start of the month what I thought it was I would have said that I probably spend $5 a day on food. It’s been eye opening people!
So I thought I was eating as cheaply as possible, I ate a lot of rice, I ate a lot of avocados, I didn’t track my caloric intake at all, and I gained weight this month, a little more than 5 pounds. I’m not super happy about this.
So what’s the plan for October? I’m doing an extended cleanse leading up to a vacation in Asia.
Day 4 of eating on the cheap.
Confession of a mindless spender.
“I ran to the famers market after work to grab my box before I drove 30 minutes away for a meeting. I realized I was hungry, with nothing to eat in the car. I dashed over to the gluten free vendor and bought a $3 scone, and then at the last minute added a $3 muffin. No big deal. I get to my meeting (held at Starbucks), I order my coffee, I look at my card balance, but I only have $0.60, so I top the card up with $10.”
I spent $16 without even thinking. Piss poor planning on my part. I could have munched on the contents of my CSA box, or just packed more food in the morning. The night before I had a glass of wine and 2 cookies for dinner, so I guess today was a slight nutritional improvement.
Food total for the month $42.25.
What’s a eco-singleton to do but put herself out there on the internet and wait for the strangest fish in the ocean to swim on by. My friends and co-workers are so entertained by the strange responses I get. Some websites are better than others. This might become a new feature on the blog. Maybe instead of Adventures in Online Dating it should be called “Feature Creature”?
Sadly this was the most normal part of the conversation. After I told him his lack of conversation skills was the reason he was single, he then sent me a very very long response explaining why this was a perfectly acceptable start to a conversation with a stranger. I didn’t save that part of the conversation but rest assured, it was full on crazy.