Feature Creature: Bottom of the Dumpster

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It’s been an interesting week of online dating messages.  All of them deserve blog posts on their own, but I’ve been too busy to properly string them along to see just how sideshow they really are.  It’s a never ending parade of freaks.

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Just your typical 57 year old taking selfies in Kamloops motel rooms and sending me messages.  So gross.  Why would I want to date someone 23 years older than me?  I thought about telling him to go date an 80 year old (23 years older than him).  Instead I told him to get a life and blocked him.

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Just your typical cuddly teddy bear looking for an angel.  Although he might be a nice person, the English in his profile was so bad I could hardly understand it.  I’ll summarize, he has no hobbies, no social life and really really wants to cuddle someone, anyone.  Guaranteed leach, escaping his chubby arms would not be an easy task.

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This guy makes a living by collecting scrap metal, so essentially a dumpster diver with the posture of a wet noodle.  Lucky for me he’s 650Km away and he’d have to collect scrap for 10 years before he’d get enough money to hop on a greyhound bus to Vancouver.

Now don’t despair for me, there have been some half decent ones as well this week, they just don’t deserve to be blogged about.

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